This list was inspired by the song "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere," which came on at a bar a few weeks ago. It's a country tune sung by Alan Jackson (of South Park's "Ladder to Heaven" fame) with help from Jimmy Buffett. In case you are not familiar, here you go:
I guess I had heard the song before, but until I heard it again just recently, I had never really registered its message. Let me start by saying that I understand the sentiment. The person singing this song is working some unspecified, but presumably gruelling, job. His boss has told him thath he needs to work overtime. He is understandably frustrated and wishes to start drinking immediately. Now, I'm a teacher - which means that I do not have to worry about the hot sun bearing down on me as I work, nor am I paid by the hour. For that matter, at five o'clock I have been officially off work for nearly three hours - so the specific time doesn't mean as much to me as it does to the speaker. But I get the point: sometimes I, too, want to ditch work and responsibility in favor of a local tavern.
So the problem here isn't with the message - it's with the way it's expressed, which displays a fundamental lack of understanding of how the way time zones work. At most times of day - in fact, for fifty-nine minutes of each hour - the title of the song just isn't true. When it is 6:01 here, it is 5:01 in Chicago, 4:01 in Denver, 3:01 in Seattle and 5:00 nowhere.
Surely Alan Jackson knows this, right? Maybe he just means it in the way that people mean when they ask, "Are you twenty-one?" as a stand-in for "Are you able to drink alcohol legally?" I am willing to accept this, and yet even that is a little bit annoying. Every time I'm asked "Are you twenty-one?" - with surprising frequency, given that I am much closer to thirty - I understand the question as a lazy man's version of, "Are you at least twenty-one?" Just like I have to understand that this song should be titled, "It's At Least Five O'Clock Somewhere." This admittedly isn't as catchy - but then who wants to drink with a guy who wants to drink with a guy who thinks that at 11:24 AM there is some weird, alternate world where it's exactly 5:00?
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Weirdest Hot Beverage on the Eastern Seaboard
This has nothing to do with a list - except that it happened to me on my way back from Pittsburgh, where I was checking Primanti Brothers off my "Top 100 Sandwiches of All Time" list. (That's a whole other story, which I'll have to tell another time.)
So two weeks ago, Nick and I were driving back from a rather disappointing day in Pittsburgh. (It was supposed to be a weekend, and we were supposed to see a baseball game, but Mother Nature had other plans. It ended up being a day of wandering around in the rain, and eating everything in sight, which had its merits - but ultimately felt a little lacking without the baseball.)
I tend to get onto weird food kicks when I'm driving long distances. For instance, road trips are, in my book, the only occasions on which it is acceptable to purchase and consume an entire bag of beef jerky. I love the stuff, but I literally won't eat it unless I am driving to a location more than four hours away. Not sure why. On this particular trip, I had developed an odd fixation on cappuccino - specifically, from the ubiquitous cappuccino machines found at rest stops. Nick laughed at me a lot for this, and you might too - but seriously, have you had rest stop machine cappuccino?? It is delicious. And it comes in crazy, but appealing flavors: Southern Texas Pecan, Mexican Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice. (I make it my personal mission to try a different flavor each time, if at all possible.) Honestly, has anyone ever tried this and not liked it? I don't even care that it may or may not be chemicals, instead of real coffee. If your gas station rest stop has machine Cappuccino, and I've been driving a while, I'm drinking it. And chances are, I'm drinking the craziest flavor you have to offer.
And yes, I know I am supposed to be somewhat of an authority on food.
About halfway between Pittsburgh and DC lies Breezewood, Pennsylvania, a trucker's mecca with some of the best rest stops the country has to offer. Of particular note is the largest Sheetz gas station I have ever seen. Needless to say, after a two hour drive in the rain, I had the feeling that this Sheetz probably had the sort of synthetic cappuccino necessary to lift my spirits. After refilling, I entered and sought out the machine. Sure enough - ten flavors of Cappuccino, each crazier than the next. On such an occasion, it just didn't seem right to get something mundane like French Vanilla or Hazelnut or, God Forbid, no flavor at all. Buying regular coffee at this Breezewood Sheetz seemed akin to having a grilled cheese sandwich at Primanti Brothers: a sense of adventure was crucial. So I did what any traveler would have done: I pressed the button for the "Brown Sugar Raisin Oatmeal" Cappuccino. Go ahead and laugh if you must, but ask yourself, does that really sound so bad? You like brown sugar, right? And chances are, you like raisins and oatmeal too. So what's the problem? I paid at the counter and eagerly awaited my first sip.
I had that first sip in the parking lot, which was a good thing. Because I wasn't expecting to find solid chunks floating in my coffee. Big solid chunks, which I spat out onto the pavement. Clearly, the milk must have been curdled. On one level, this was oddly comforting - I hadn't previously been certain that machine cappuccino was actually made with milk. Apparently it was. However, this didn't override the fact that I was now trying my best not to chew on pieces of this milk. I walked back inside to demand an explanation.
"There are chunks in my coffee. The milk is all curdled," I said to the matronly cashier, placing my cup down abruptly on the counter.
"What kind did you try sir?"
"What?"
"Did you buy the Oatmeal flavor?" she asked, in what I took to be a somewhat judgmental tone.
"Yes. Why?"
"It's Brown Sugar Raisin Capp-OAT-ccino. It has oats in it."
"What? Why?"
"Would you like to try another flavor, sir?"
Yes, I would. One sip of Capp-OAT-ccino was quite enough, thank you very much. So there you have it, folks: coffee and oats together at last. It's reminiscent of Homer's line from The Simpsons, "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are." He says this while holding up a can, whose label says: "Nuts and Gum: Together at Last."
Coffee and oats. Who actually drinks this? Will it catch on? What does it say about our society? I got nothing - except that I think this is the reason I love traveling, and why I sometimes love the weird stops like Breezewood, PA as much as I love the destinations. Everyone knows where to find Pittsburgh - but no GPS will tell you where to find the weirdest hot beverage on the Eastern seaboard.
So two weeks ago, Nick and I were driving back from a rather disappointing day in Pittsburgh. (It was supposed to be a weekend, and we were supposed to see a baseball game, but Mother Nature had other plans. It ended up being a day of wandering around in the rain, and eating everything in sight, which had its merits - but ultimately felt a little lacking without the baseball.)
I tend to get onto weird food kicks when I'm driving long distances. For instance, road trips are, in my book, the only occasions on which it is acceptable to purchase and consume an entire bag of beef jerky. I love the stuff, but I literally won't eat it unless I am driving to a location more than four hours away. Not sure why. On this particular trip, I had developed an odd fixation on cappuccino - specifically, from the ubiquitous cappuccino machines found at rest stops. Nick laughed at me a lot for this, and you might too - but seriously, have you had rest stop machine cappuccino?? It is delicious. And it comes in crazy, but appealing flavors: Southern Texas Pecan, Mexican Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice. (I make it my personal mission to try a different flavor each time, if at all possible.) Honestly, has anyone ever tried this and not liked it? I don't even care that it may or may not be chemicals, instead of real coffee. If your gas station rest stop has machine Cappuccino, and I've been driving a while, I'm drinking it. And chances are, I'm drinking the craziest flavor you have to offer.
And yes, I know I am supposed to be somewhat of an authority on food.
About halfway between Pittsburgh and DC lies Breezewood, Pennsylvania, a trucker's mecca with some of the best rest stops the country has to offer. Of particular note is the largest Sheetz gas station I have ever seen. Needless to say, after a two hour drive in the rain, I had the feeling that this Sheetz probably had the sort of synthetic cappuccino necessary to lift my spirits. After refilling, I entered and sought out the machine. Sure enough - ten flavors of Cappuccino, each crazier than the next. On such an occasion, it just didn't seem right to get something mundane like French Vanilla or Hazelnut or, God Forbid, no flavor at all. Buying regular coffee at this Breezewood Sheetz seemed akin to having a grilled cheese sandwich at Primanti Brothers: a sense of adventure was crucial. So I did what any traveler would have done: I pressed the button for the "Brown Sugar Raisin Oatmeal" Cappuccino. Go ahead and laugh if you must, but ask yourself, does that really sound so bad? You like brown sugar, right? And chances are, you like raisins and oatmeal too. So what's the problem? I paid at the counter and eagerly awaited my first sip.
I had that first sip in the parking lot, which was a good thing. Because I wasn't expecting to find solid chunks floating in my coffee. Big solid chunks, which I spat out onto the pavement. Clearly, the milk must have been curdled. On one level, this was oddly comforting - I hadn't previously been certain that machine cappuccino was actually made with milk. Apparently it was. However, this didn't override the fact that I was now trying my best not to chew on pieces of this milk. I walked back inside to demand an explanation.
"There are chunks in my coffee. The milk is all curdled," I said to the matronly cashier, placing my cup down abruptly on the counter.
"What kind did you try sir?"
"What?"
"Did you buy the Oatmeal flavor?" she asked, in what I took to be a somewhat judgmental tone.
"Yes. Why?"
"It's Brown Sugar Raisin Capp-OAT-ccino. It has oats in it."
"What? Why?"
"Would you like to try another flavor, sir?"
Yes, I would. One sip of Capp-OAT-ccino was quite enough, thank you very much. So there you have it, folks: coffee and oats together at last. It's reminiscent of Homer's line from The Simpsons, "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are." He says this while holding up a can, whose label says: "Nuts and Gum: Together at Last."
Coffee and oats. Who actually drinks this? Will it catch on? What does it say about our society? I got nothing - except that I think this is the reason I love traveling, and why I sometimes love the weird stops like Breezewood, PA as much as I love the destinations. Everyone knows where to find Pittsburgh - but no GPS will tell you where to find the weirdest hot beverage on the Eastern seaboard.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Animated Music Videos
When I was growing up, my family didn't have MTV. So I was left out when my friends had discussions about the new video for "Buddy Holly" or Stone Temple Pilots' performance on Unplugged. Sometimes I asked my parents if we could visit Grandma's house - to see Grandma, yes, but also because Grandma had cable. Once there, I would allow her to engage me in a five-minute conversation before scampering off into the guest bedroom to see what was on MTV. This led to an immortal exchange between my grandmother's husband and me about the video I happened to be watching on MTV: Tom Petty's "Mary Jane's Last Dance." This is the video, you'll recall, in which Petty takes home a dead corpse (Kim Basinger) so he can dance with her. I remember being rapt with the combination of catchy melody and quasi-necrophiliac story that seemed more than a little taboo to my twelve-year-old self. So I was a bit uncomfortable when Bob sat down next to me on the couch, apparently for a five-minute glimpse into adolescent pop culture. At the end, when dead Kim Basinger's eyes open, he grumbled, "Now what the hell was all that about??" and stormed out of the room.
I know that videos really came out in the early 80's, but I really think they reached their peak during my generation - specifically during the early 90's. I feel this way even if my lack of MTV left me out of the conversation at the time. One of the greatest perks of Youtube is that it is basically like having classic MTV On Demand. In 1993, I probably would have had to wait through the entire top ten countdown, plus four commercial breaks, in order to see Alicia Silverstone in Aerosmith's video for "Cryin'." (assuming that I was at Grandma's, or somewhere else that had MTV, to begin with.) Now I can just type in a few letters and see it instantly. Twelve year old me would be dumbfounded.
Maybe at some point I'll do a top ten list of my all-time favorite videos. Those would be pretty tough to come up with off the top of my head though. For the time being, I'll narrow it down to my...
Top Ten favorite ANIMATED Music Videos
1.) "My Girls" - Animal Collective
Ok, there is some quasi live action stuff going on here. But mostly it is just psychedelic amoebas and a giant glowing cube, swimming in time with the keyboards and Beach Boy harmonies. This is a song I could listen to for twenty hours on repeat anyway - with the visuals, it's like being in another dimension.
2.) "My Old Ways" - Dr. Dog
Without the video, this is a pretty little Beatles-esque tune with some surprising modulations at the chorus. It's incredibly catchy: "I don't ever wanna go back/To my o-o-o-o-o-o-old ways again." What were the old ways the singer doesn't want to go back to? As it turns out, cartoonish jewel heisting! We get the whole story in this video, in which a gang of lovable jailbirds sing and dance and tap for your entertainment. For some reason, this reminds me of "O Brother Where Art Thou?" Is it because one of them kind of looks like George Clooney?
3.) "King Rat" - Modest Mouse
This is Modest Mouse at their creepiest and dirtiest - a frantic blues shuffle with some rowdy New Orleans horns and banjo played so hard it sounds like it's about to break. Sounds like the perfect vehicle for a profoundly disturbing animation about the evils of the whaling industry - directed by, of all people, Heath Ledger - doesn't it? In the end, I'm not sure what the video means. (Is this depiction of sadistic whales supposed to arouse our sympathy for them?) But I do know that it's rare for a song and a video to simultaneously make you uncomfortable and make you want to dance.
4.) "Paranoid Android" - Radiohead
When I was 16, everyone told me that Radiohead were a bunch of geniuses and that "Paranoid Android" was a masterpiece, so I guess I thought so too. On listening to it again for the first time in many years, it seems that sometimes the crowd is worth listening to. This song moves seamlessly between styles - meditative, rockin' and at the bridge (I guess), downright mournful. It's my generation's "Aqualung" - except that I like it more. The video was done in that sort of crude Beavis and Butthead, Dr. Katz style - which is probably best because if it were any more realistic, those severed limbs would be awfully disturbing.
5.) "Clint Eastwood" - Gorillaz
Gorillaz was The Beatles of the animated music video genre - case closed. Their concerts feature a giant screen of the band members' animated avatars - displayed in front of where the band is actually playing. And these alter egos have so much personality that no one even seems to mind. "Clint Eastwood" wins the award for Song Most Improved by Animated Music Video - not that the song was bad before. But there is just something about the new giant blue version of Deltron, which enters by floating over the band and bears its four teeth as it raps, that cannot be captured in the song by itself.
6.) "Take on Me" - A-Ha
I was born too late to really claim this song and its accompanying video as my own. But let's face it - it probably did for animated videos what "Thriller" did for regular music videos, which means it deserves to be included on this list. I'm guessing you've all seen this video and know the story: A woman sits in a coffee house reading a comic book about some kind of motorcycle race. The winner of this race (incidentally, A-Ha's lead singer) winks at the women through the page of the comic book. His hand comes out of the comic book and pulls the woman into an animated world. Girl and comic motorcyclist dance with each other for a little while, sometimes in comic version and sometimes as real humans. The waitress at the coffee house comes back for the bill, only to find the woman is nowhere to be seen. She crumples up the magazine. Something else happens with some sinister looking guys and motorcycles. Some other things happen. The video ends with the hero escaping from the comic book, running away with the heroine and living, presumably, happily ever after. There is no need to recount all of the details of this little story in order to make the point that it is highly innovative. It is also the perfect marriage of animation to music. I have no idea what the song "Take on Me" is really about and until now, I hadn't bothered to think much about what the music video was truly about either. But I know that this video is bigger than the sum of its parts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914
7.) "One More Time" - Daft Punk
I don't really love this song. I think that at some point in my life, it must have been the soundtrack to someone spilling a drink on me in a crowded club. In fact, I think I have been classically conditioned to flinch and guard my beer whenever I hear it - even if I'm not holding a beer. Then again, I never heard this song played by blue aliens at a rock concert on another planet. If I had, I might have been as happy as, say, the little alien girl with no eyes, merrily clapping her hands to the rhythm at 55 seconds in.
8.) "Do the Evolution" - Pearl Jam
Well, it's not Even Flow or Animal or even Corduroy, but the song isn't bad. And this sometimes disturbing, always entertaining four-minute tour of (mostly) human evolution, warfare and eventual apocalypse would be entertaining even without the sound on. Highlights include the whole ape sequence (25 seconds), "Superman" Caveman (40 seconds), and the birth machine and assembly line (3:09).
9.) "Heartless" - Kanye West
Again, I'm giving the video more weight than the song - not that I hate hip-hop or Kanye - just that I prefer to listen see other things (see items 1-5 on this list). Still, an animated rap video is pretty damn innovative. Most rappers want to show how hard they are, how street they are, how much bling the have, how many females they can get. Cartoons are decidedly un-hard and un-street, but somehow Kanye makes himself look like a bad-ass anyway.
10.) "Roller Coaster of Love" - RHCP
This video is just fun. Red Hot Chili Peppers are fun (when Anthony Keidis isn't singing about whatever happened back on "that day" in the City of Angels.) Beavis and Butthead are always fun - unconditionally - and probably even more so now that they aren't on tv regularly. Mostly, this is a fun video because it just reminds me of the 90's and of high school - only the best parts of both. Also, that heart loop-de-loop (2:49) is pretty ridiculous. I'm not sure how that works - unless you're Flea on roller-skates.
I know that videos really came out in the early 80's, but I really think they reached their peak during my generation - specifically during the early 90's. I feel this way even if my lack of MTV left me out of the conversation at the time. One of the greatest perks of Youtube is that it is basically like having classic MTV On Demand. In 1993, I probably would have had to wait through the entire top ten countdown, plus four commercial breaks, in order to see Alicia Silverstone in Aerosmith's video for "Cryin'." (assuming that I was at Grandma's, or somewhere else that had MTV, to begin with.) Now I can just type in a few letters and see it instantly. Twelve year old me would be dumbfounded.
Maybe at some point I'll do a top ten list of my all-time favorite videos. Those would be pretty tough to come up with off the top of my head though. For the time being, I'll narrow it down to my...
Top Ten favorite ANIMATED Music Videos
1.) "My Girls" - Animal Collective
Ok, there is some quasi live action stuff going on here. But mostly it is just psychedelic amoebas and a giant glowing cube, swimming in time with the keyboards and Beach Boy harmonies. This is a song I could listen to for twenty hours on repeat anyway - with the visuals, it's like being in another dimension.
2.) "My Old Ways" - Dr. Dog
Without the video, this is a pretty little Beatles-esque tune with some surprising modulations at the chorus. It's incredibly catchy: "I don't ever wanna go back/To my o-o-o-o-o-o-old ways again." What were the old ways the singer doesn't want to go back to? As it turns out, cartoonish jewel heisting! We get the whole story in this video, in which a gang of lovable jailbirds sing and dance and tap for your entertainment. For some reason, this reminds me of "O Brother Where Art Thou?" Is it because one of them kind of looks like George Clooney?
3.) "King Rat" - Modest Mouse
This is Modest Mouse at their creepiest and dirtiest - a frantic blues shuffle with some rowdy New Orleans horns and banjo played so hard it sounds like it's about to break. Sounds like the perfect vehicle for a profoundly disturbing animation about the evils of the whaling industry - directed by, of all people, Heath Ledger - doesn't it? In the end, I'm not sure what the video means. (Is this depiction of sadistic whales supposed to arouse our sympathy for them?) But I do know that it's rare for a song and a video to simultaneously make you uncomfortable and make you want to dance.
4.) "Paranoid Android" - Radiohead
When I was 16, everyone told me that Radiohead were a bunch of geniuses and that "Paranoid Android" was a masterpiece, so I guess I thought so too. On listening to it again for the first time in many years, it seems that sometimes the crowd is worth listening to. This song moves seamlessly between styles - meditative, rockin' and at the bridge (I guess), downright mournful. It's my generation's "Aqualung" - except that I like it more. The video was done in that sort of crude Beavis and Butthead, Dr. Katz style - which is probably best because if it were any more realistic, those severed limbs would be awfully disturbing.
5.) "Clint Eastwood" - Gorillaz
Gorillaz was The Beatles of the animated music video genre - case closed. Their concerts feature a giant screen of the band members' animated avatars - displayed in front of where the band is actually playing. And these alter egos have so much personality that no one even seems to mind. "Clint Eastwood" wins the award for Song Most Improved by Animated Music Video - not that the song was bad before. But there is just something about the new giant blue version of Deltron, which enters by floating over the band and bears its four teeth as it raps, that cannot be captured in the song by itself.
6.) "Take on Me" - A-Ha
I was born too late to really claim this song and its accompanying video as my own. But let's face it - it probably did for animated videos what "Thriller" did for regular music videos, which means it deserves to be included on this list. I'm guessing you've all seen this video and know the story: A woman sits in a coffee house reading a comic book about some kind of motorcycle race. The winner of this race (incidentally, A-Ha's lead singer) winks at the women through the page of the comic book. His hand comes out of the comic book and pulls the woman into an animated world. Girl and comic motorcyclist dance with each other for a little while, sometimes in comic version and sometimes as real humans. The waitress at the coffee house comes back for the bill, only to find the woman is nowhere to be seen. She crumples up the magazine. Something else happens with some sinister looking guys and motorcycles. Some other things happen. The video ends with the hero escaping from the comic book, running away with the heroine and living, presumably, happily ever after. There is no need to recount all of the details of this little story in order to make the point that it is highly innovative. It is also the perfect marriage of animation to music. I have no idea what the song "Take on Me" is really about and until now, I hadn't bothered to think much about what the music video was truly about either. But I know that this video is bigger than the sum of its parts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914
7.) "One More Time" - Daft Punk
I don't really love this song. I think that at some point in my life, it must have been the soundtrack to someone spilling a drink on me in a crowded club. In fact, I think I have been classically conditioned to flinch and guard my beer whenever I hear it - even if I'm not holding a beer. Then again, I never heard this song played by blue aliens at a rock concert on another planet. If I had, I might have been as happy as, say, the little alien girl with no eyes, merrily clapping her hands to the rhythm at 55 seconds in.
8.) "Do the Evolution" - Pearl Jam
Well, it's not Even Flow or Animal or even Corduroy, but the song isn't bad. And this sometimes disturbing, always entertaining four-minute tour of (mostly) human evolution, warfare and eventual apocalypse would be entertaining even without the sound on. Highlights include the whole ape sequence (25 seconds), "Superman" Caveman (40 seconds), and the birth machine and assembly line (3:09).
9.) "Heartless" - Kanye West
Again, I'm giving the video more weight than the song - not that I hate hip-hop or Kanye - just that I prefer to listen see other things (see items 1-5 on this list). Still, an animated rap video is pretty damn innovative. Most rappers want to show how hard they are, how street they are, how much bling the have, how many females they can get. Cartoons are decidedly un-hard and un-street, but somehow Kanye makes himself look like a bad-ass anyway.
10.) "Roller Coaster of Love" - RHCP
This video is just fun. Red Hot Chili Peppers are fun (when Anthony Keidis isn't singing about whatever happened back on "that day" in the City of Angels.) Beavis and Butthead are always fun - unconditionally - and probably even more so now that they aren't on tv regularly. Mostly, this is a fun video because it just reminds me of the 90's and of high school - only the best parts of both. Also, that heart loop-de-loop (2:49) is pretty ridiculous. I'm not sure how that works - unless you're Flea on roller-skates.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Final Shots Pt. 2
Last time, I made a list of my favorite final shots from movies. My rule was that the shots I chose had to be literally the final shots, not just the final scenes, of their respective movies. (See previous post for a full explanation.) In re-reading that list just now, I think I made the mistake of putting all of the best final shots in the first half of the list. Those weren't really numbers six through ten on my master list; they were just the first ones that happened to come to mind. By the time I finish this next installment, I may decide that those original five really deserve to be numbers one through five. At any rate...
5.) The 400 Blows (1959)
Roger Ebert is in on the short list of my favorite writers of all time. People know him as a film critic, and of course, he probably earned most of his fame from rating movies on tv, but I consider him more of a film expert than a critic, and I can't read his writing without thinking that I'd love to have him as a professor in my own personal film class. He isn't widely known for his wit, but he should be, because it is incredibly sharp. Your Movie Sucks, a collection of his bad reviews of the last ten years is currently on my night table and is, without exaggeration, one of the funniest books I have ever read. I bring up Ebert here because I feel that if he were to make this list, the final shot from 400 Blows would have to be his Number One. In a 1999 article marking the film's 40th anniversary, he says of the film's young protagonist, "He has just run away from a house of detention, and is on the beach, caught between land and water, between past and future. It is the first time he has seen the sea."
The boy, Antoine Doinel, is a kid who can't catch a break. He is bullied by his fascist teacher and ignored by his aloof mother. He steals a typewriter towards the end of the film, and is sent to a house of detention. We watch from above as Antoine plays soccer with his classmates. He throws the ball in from the sidelines and then, in the middle of the game, he makes a break for it. He sneaks under the barbed wire, and then he runs, and he keeps running - Forrest Gump style - for what seems like an eternity on the screen, until he reaches the beach. He is the only person on the beach. It looks cold out. He seems almost surprised when his feet hit the water, but he eventually slows to a halt. He turns back to the camera, and - freeze frame on Antoine's uncertain expression. It's an unexpected shot, and it's just a little bit puzzling, but I think it works because I doesn't tell us what to feel. A big triumphant smile wouldn't have worked because it would have hit us over the head with "happy ending." At the end of this film, I have the feeling that this kid is going to turn out just fine. That detention center is just one tiny place in a big country. He still has plenty left to explore. Also, that pizzicato viola (I think?) is haunting.
6.) Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
The ending of this film, in which Robert De Niro plays a Jewish gangster coming to terms with his betrayal of his best friend played by James Woods, is baffling. And now that I think about it, it's not all that different from the final shot of 400 Blows. In both, we have a freeze frame of a character's face, fixed in an uncertain expression. (And both are set to beautiful scores - this Morricone melody is one of my favorite pieces of movie music.) Here, we have De Niro's character Noodles, doped out of his mind in a Chinese opium house, with a big goofy smile fixed on his face. At this point in the film, we have seen Noodles do nothing but brood for the past 227 minutes, so needless to say, this expression is a little alarming. SPOILER ALERT (Seriously, if you haven't seen this film yet, don't read this part. See the movie first and form your own impressions so we can talk about it. I'll even lend you my copy.) Why is Noodles so happy? What is the significance of this final shot? After thinking about these questions, listening to the DVD commentary, reading what other people had to see, etc. I think the only conclusion is that one third of the movie has been an opium dream. The sequences in which De Niro is an old man provide his character with some measure of redemption, at least in his mind. Woods' character has survived an ill-advised heist on a federal building and has now changed his identity to Secretary Bailey. How did he survive? This and other key questions are purposely left unanswered. There are no answer expect that this entire situation has been spawned by Noodles' drug-addled brain.
Whether or not you buy this theory, this is a haunting final scene in which a tortured character tries to relieve himself of a heavy burden. Just watched this clip again and yup, movie music doesn't get much better.
Note - Much has been made of the fact that this film appeared in two different iterations: the normal 227 minute version, and a shorter one, which is apparently unwatchable. I don't know if you can even get your hands on the so-called director's cut any more, but even if you can, don't.
3.) The Truman Show (1998)
I'm pretty sure everyone I know has already seen this. Truman finally makes it by boat, through the artificial tempest, to the sky, which is really the wall of the giant bubble. He has just realized that his whole life is a lie and now, with the whole rest of his life in front of him, he wishes his viewers a cheerful goodbye - "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!" - and disappears through a door in the "sky." If you haven't seen the movie in a while, you may remember this being the final shot. It almost is, but not quite. The movie shifts to the viewers, whom we have seen intermittently throughout, emotionally processing what they have just watched. What they have just watched is, of course, the most important moment in the life of a real man. Truman's great triumph is followed by a shot of two night workers watching the show. One offers the other a slice of pizza. The other asks, "What else is on?" The first asks, "Where's the tv guide?" And that's it.
I think about this little moment a lot - after the Superbowl, after American Idol, even to some degree after the presidential inauguration. I think the point is, it's just entertainment - and people who are being entertained, especially those who watch tv, have short memories. The nature of entertainment is that what seems groundbreaking one minute, is destined to quickly become yesterday's news.
2.) A Clockwork Orange (1972)
The full version of the novel doesn't end this way - it ends with Little Alex actually being cured of his violent impulses, and some editions include a foreward by Anthony Burgess, explaining why this was his original intent. Screw original intent. To me the story makes more sense with this ending: the doctors congratulate themselves on a job well done, they pose with Alex for photographs, the camera closes in on Alex's demented smile, and then we get a shot of his demented mind. Sure enough, at this moment, when he is supposed to be "cured," Alex can think of nothing but a little of the old in-out, and ultra-violence. "I was cured alright" is chillingly ironic.
If Alex were really to be cured at the end, I ask you, what would be the point of this movie? That our basest human instincts really can be conditioned out of us, just by prying our eyelids open and forcing us to watch horrible films? Anthony Burgess, the author, was a smart guy. In writing the novel, he created "Nadsat," a new language for Alex and his droogs. I'm sure he had his reasons for actually curing Alex at the end, but I'm glad Kubrick didn't listen to him. Thanks to him, we have a creepy final shot, a creepy final line, and an inability to ever think about the song "Singin' in the Rain" the same way again.
1.) The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
"Get busy living, or get busy dying." I watched this again recently, and had to admit it was just slightly corny. I think it hasn't helped that it is guaranteed to be on cable exactly one in two times you turn on the tv - and somehow always at the last fifteen minutes. Regardless, this is an unforgettable montage: the warden offs himself, Andy takes his money and gets away, Red gets out of prison and doesn't succumb to depression like Brooks. He finds the box underneath the stone wall, right in the spot where Andy said it would be. (Implausible, but whatever.) He takes the bus down to Fort Hancock, Texas. Cut to some beautiful beach in Mexico where Andy is working on his boat. The camera pulls out just as the two approach each other to commence what promises to be a long friendship.
I'm usually not entertained by movies where everything I want to happen actually happens. I need some death or some suffering or some tragedy. I'll make an exception for this movie though; you just can't go against its power of optimism. (The King's Speech, which I saw a few days ago, is another movie that falls into the same category.)
Here's my final order, since this is a top ten list after all:
10 - The Shawshank Redemption
9 - Primal Fear
8 - A Clockwork Orange
7 - The Godfather
6 - Once Upon a Time in America
5 - The Truman Show
4 - The Wrestler
3 - The Bicycle Thief
2 - 400 Blows
1 - Babel
Honorable Mentions: The Last Picture Show (desolate town), The Departed (Old State House), The Hurt Locker (Sgt. James reports for duty), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (snowy beach)
5.) The 400 Blows (1959)
Roger Ebert is in on the short list of my favorite writers of all time. People know him as a film critic, and of course, he probably earned most of his fame from rating movies on tv, but I consider him more of a film expert than a critic, and I can't read his writing without thinking that I'd love to have him as a professor in my own personal film class. He isn't widely known for his wit, but he should be, because it is incredibly sharp. Your Movie Sucks, a collection of his bad reviews of the last ten years is currently on my night table and is, without exaggeration, one of the funniest books I have ever read. I bring up Ebert here because I feel that if he were to make this list, the final shot from 400 Blows would have to be his Number One. In a 1999 article marking the film's 40th anniversary, he says of the film's young protagonist, "He has just run away from a house of detention, and is on the beach, caught between land and water, between past and future. It is the first time he has seen the sea."
The boy, Antoine Doinel, is a kid who can't catch a break. He is bullied by his fascist teacher and ignored by his aloof mother. He steals a typewriter towards the end of the film, and is sent to a house of detention. We watch from above as Antoine plays soccer with his classmates. He throws the ball in from the sidelines and then, in the middle of the game, he makes a break for it. He sneaks under the barbed wire, and then he runs, and he keeps running - Forrest Gump style - for what seems like an eternity on the screen, until he reaches the beach. He is the only person on the beach. It looks cold out. He seems almost surprised when his feet hit the water, but he eventually slows to a halt. He turns back to the camera, and - freeze frame on Antoine's uncertain expression. It's an unexpected shot, and it's just a little bit puzzling, but I think it works because I doesn't tell us what to feel. A big triumphant smile wouldn't have worked because it would have hit us over the head with "happy ending." At the end of this film, I have the feeling that this kid is going to turn out just fine. That detention center is just one tiny place in a big country. He still has plenty left to explore. Also, that pizzicato viola (I think?) is haunting.
6.) Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
The ending of this film, in which Robert De Niro plays a Jewish gangster coming to terms with his betrayal of his best friend played by James Woods, is baffling. And now that I think about it, it's not all that different from the final shot of 400 Blows. In both, we have a freeze frame of a character's face, fixed in an uncertain expression. (And both are set to beautiful scores - this Morricone melody is one of my favorite pieces of movie music.) Here, we have De Niro's character Noodles, doped out of his mind in a Chinese opium house, with a big goofy smile fixed on his face. At this point in the film, we have seen Noodles do nothing but brood for the past 227 minutes, so needless to say, this expression is a little alarming. SPOILER ALERT (Seriously, if you haven't seen this film yet, don't read this part. See the movie first and form your own impressions so we can talk about it. I'll even lend you my copy.) Why is Noodles so happy? What is the significance of this final shot? After thinking about these questions, listening to the DVD commentary, reading what other people had to see, etc. I think the only conclusion is that one third of the movie has been an opium dream. The sequences in which De Niro is an old man provide his character with some measure of redemption, at least in his mind. Woods' character has survived an ill-advised heist on a federal building and has now changed his identity to Secretary Bailey. How did he survive? This and other key questions are purposely left unanswered. There are no answer expect that this entire situation has been spawned by Noodles' drug-addled brain.
Whether or not you buy this theory, this is a haunting final scene in which a tortured character tries to relieve himself of a heavy burden. Just watched this clip again and yup, movie music doesn't get much better.
Note - Much has been made of the fact that this film appeared in two different iterations: the normal 227 minute version, and a shorter one, which is apparently unwatchable. I don't know if you can even get your hands on the so-called director's cut any more, but even if you can, don't.
3.) The Truman Show (1998)
I'm pretty sure everyone I know has already seen this. Truman finally makes it by boat, through the artificial tempest, to the sky, which is really the wall of the giant bubble. He has just realized that his whole life is a lie and now, with the whole rest of his life in front of him, he wishes his viewers a cheerful goodbye - "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!" - and disappears through a door in the "sky." If you haven't seen the movie in a while, you may remember this being the final shot. It almost is, but not quite. The movie shifts to the viewers, whom we have seen intermittently throughout, emotionally processing what they have just watched. What they have just watched is, of course, the most important moment in the life of a real man. Truman's great triumph is followed by a shot of two night workers watching the show. One offers the other a slice of pizza. The other asks, "What else is on?" The first asks, "Where's the tv guide?" And that's it.
I think about this little moment a lot - after the Superbowl, after American Idol, even to some degree after the presidential inauguration. I think the point is, it's just entertainment - and people who are being entertained, especially those who watch tv, have short memories. The nature of entertainment is that what seems groundbreaking one minute, is destined to quickly become yesterday's news.
2.) A Clockwork Orange (1972)
The full version of the novel doesn't end this way - it ends with Little Alex actually being cured of his violent impulses, and some editions include a foreward by Anthony Burgess, explaining why this was his original intent. Screw original intent. To me the story makes more sense with this ending: the doctors congratulate themselves on a job well done, they pose with Alex for photographs, the camera closes in on Alex's demented smile, and then we get a shot of his demented mind. Sure enough, at this moment, when he is supposed to be "cured," Alex can think of nothing but a little of the old in-out, and ultra-violence. "I was cured alright" is chillingly ironic.
If Alex were really to be cured at the end, I ask you, what would be the point of this movie? That our basest human instincts really can be conditioned out of us, just by prying our eyelids open and forcing us to watch horrible films? Anthony Burgess, the author, was a smart guy. In writing the novel, he created "Nadsat," a new language for Alex and his droogs. I'm sure he had his reasons for actually curing Alex at the end, but I'm glad Kubrick didn't listen to him. Thanks to him, we have a creepy final shot, a creepy final line, and an inability to ever think about the song "Singin' in the Rain" the same way again.
1.) The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
"Get busy living, or get busy dying." I watched this again recently, and had to admit it was just slightly corny. I think it hasn't helped that it is guaranteed to be on cable exactly one in two times you turn on the tv - and somehow always at the last fifteen minutes. Regardless, this is an unforgettable montage: the warden offs himself, Andy takes his money and gets away, Red gets out of prison and doesn't succumb to depression like Brooks. He finds the box underneath the stone wall, right in the spot where Andy said it would be. (Implausible, but whatever.) He takes the bus down to Fort Hancock, Texas. Cut to some beautiful beach in Mexico where Andy is working on his boat. The camera pulls out just as the two approach each other to commence what promises to be a long friendship.
I'm usually not entertained by movies where everything I want to happen actually happens. I need some death or some suffering or some tragedy. I'll make an exception for this movie though; you just can't go against its power of optimism. (The King's Speech, which I saw a few days ago, is another movie that falls into the same category.)
Here's my final order, since this is a top ten list after all:
10 - The Shawshank Redemption
9 - Primal Fear
8 - A Clockwork Orange
7 - The Godfather
6 - Once Upon a Time in America
5 - The Truman Show
4 - The Wrestler
3 - The Bicycle Thief
2 - 400 Blows
1 - Babel
Honorable Mentions: The Last Picture Show (desolate town), The Departed (Old State House), The Hurt Locker (Sgt. James reports for duty), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (snowy beach)
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